Sunday evening and I find myself nursing a lukewarm decaf latte in a Starbucks about 10 miles away from my home. Before collecting my drink I paid a visit to the loo and wound up with wet culotte pants from floor water which I ended up crouching under the disabled bathroom hand dryer trying toContinue reading “Home”
Defiant
I have been so scared to open my heart here again since the safe space I created for myself did not exist in my mind for a long while. I know that there is only one way back: to write. In 2020 I’ve written the most I’ve ever written in my life. Privately. In journalsContinue reading “Defiant”
Joy
Here is a list of things that have been bringing me absolute joy as of late. Absolutely perfect evenings in England; cloaked in liquid sunshine, like honey trickling through leafy canopies, saturating the air with warmth. Feeling really stressed and pent up, then going for a run (preferably on one such aforementioned evening) and experiencingContinue reading “Joy”
Embracing Sobriety
My latest nose-dive into a book has been ‘The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober’, by Catherine Gray (absolutely recommend). I bought it, half on impulse, half because it called to me. I’ve been alcohol free for about 6 weeks now. I drank my last can of beer with the rest of the quarantine crew inContinue reading “Embracing Sobriety”
Reclaiming my period
My period is my favourite time of the month. Things have shifted since the early 2000s where the period was that frustrating, confusing time that rendered my back to groan and my soul to fill with dread. Such was the pull of internalised patriarchy of matrilineal lines of several generations past. Such was the tendencyContinue reading “Reclaiming my period”
Brain Dirt
Rupi Kaur once said in an interview with Emma Watson that she needs to write a lot before the good stuff comes out. I really understand that. It’s like washing out a giant container filled with dirt and water with a high powered hose, vigorously attacking it until the dirt and silt and sand andContinue reading “Brain Dirt”
Three things to which I have stopped subscribing
Another Saturday morning in isolation. I’m two coffees and a flask of hot water in. It’s kind of lovely. I spent quite some time preparing for these very moments. Yesterday, after I got home from another day in Coronaville (the hospital I’m currently working in, excuse my flair for the dramatic) I threw my blueContinue reading “Three things to which I have stopped subscribing”
Tropical storm
Admittedly I can’t complain about the surroundings. In a world that seems to be engulfed by the mass hysteria of covid, I find myself a far cry away in the south coast of Sri Lanka where subdued solemnity of the outbreak still rings in the air, though with less chaos and more calculus. I’ve hadContinue reading “Tropical storm”
–
Sometimes I look at myself and wonder if I can ever be fixed or whether I passed the point of no return long ago. I don’t want to listen to sad songs because it’s sad enough in my head. They paint a picture? I’ll paint a picture. I’ll lay down words thick like brush strokesContinue reading “–”
Maybe
Maybe this moment is actually about savouring spiritual lessons like morning coffee. Maybe it exists to serve as a reminder of my own inherent value. Whilst I called it out and said it’s your shit, maybe it moves me closer to my own liberation. Maybe it’s all perfectly timed. I have never had a doubtContinue reading “Maybe”
She paints with words 